Way down there upon the ground
by mokona-pyuh
Summary: Madara stared blankly at Hashirama. "What." "Tobirama ? My brother ?" "...Your brother does not look like you at all." - In which Hashirama is a plant witch, and Tobirama... very much isn't. (faint MadaTobi)


**AN: So. Guess who's back. (Back again) With another naruto OS. One that, I'll admit, came out of nowhere after reading too many gorgeous fanfics on Ao3. (What am I still doing on this poor excuse of a hellsite instead of moving over there, we may never know)**

 **It was supposed to be a very short, very silly OS. I'm not sure if I managed that. Still an OS, though.**

 **Credit where credit is due, my inspiration for this came in part from the magnificient _Following Dreams (to Doom or Desire)_ by Hiruma Musouka, and from the absolutely gorgeous series _the last immortal leaf is dead and gold_ by blackkat. I cannot recommend them enough, and I really cannot articulate how much I adore those two authors. (But also every author out there who writes MadaTobi, you all rock, and it's all your damn fault that I was dragged into this pairing damn it)**

 **Warning: mention of blood.**

 **Pairings: MadaTobi, HashiMito, IzuTouka.**

* * *

Madara stared at Hashirama blankly, somehow hoping against hope that his friend would suddenly announce that he was just joking. When said friend failed to do that, instead blinking at him with an oblivious smile, Madara closed his eyes, and silently counted slowly to ten.

Then to twenty.

Then, when counting to thirty didn't do much for the building shock and anger – a familiar combination where Hashirama was concerned – Madara brought his hands to his temples, trying to pre-emptively get rid of the headache that would undoubtedly soon follow – another familiar state, when dealing with Hashirama.

"What." He finally managed to grit out, a last hope that he had heard wrong and his idiotic friend would say something _different_ from what he _thought_ he had heard.

"Tobirama," Hashirama helpfully said, "My brother ?"

Yeah. Yeah, that's what he'd thought he'd heard. Damn it.

For what had to be the hundredth time in as many days, Madara wondered if it wouldn't be just simpler to go back in time and prevent himself from _ever_ meeting Hashirama and becoming friends with him. Sure, time magic was dangerous, complex, and illegal, but at this point Madara figured it might just be worth it.

He completely blamed Zetsu – the damned plant witch _had_ to have known how insufferable Hashirama was, before introducing the two of them. One day, he would get revenge on the white-haired fucker.

Speaking of which-

"Your brother," Madara drawled, "Doesn't look like you. At all."

"I know," Hashirama said, a bit glumly. "He takes from the other side of the family."

Madara should have known, of course. _Senju_ Tobirama _had_ to be related to _Senju_ Hashirama. There was even the same character in their first names !

In his defence, though, the Senju clan was just as big as the Uchiha clan, and expecting them all to be closely related would be ludicrous. Given that Tobirama looked like he could be _Zetsu_ 's brother, more than Hashirama's, Madara felt he could be excused. Especially since Hashirama was a happy, go-lucky, peaceful plant witch. When he had mentioned a brother, Madara had expected a tree-hugging hippie.

Which Tobirama was _not_.

In fact, if the rumours and Izuna's whining were to be believed, the guy was so far from that idea it wasn't even funny. Given that Madara had only caught a glimpse or two of the guy in corridors, and each time Tobirama had looked like the definition of 'icy bastard', he was inclined to believe them.

In hindsight, he should have guessed it when Hashirama had also mentioned that said brother went along _swimmingly_ with Uzumaki Mito. Anyone that got along with that she-devil of a summoner couldn't be your average plant witch. Hashirama got along with her, sure, but he had always been an odd one, even for a plant witch.

Actually… Izuna had never _said_ anything about plant magic, either.

"Your brother isn't even a plant witch, is he," Madara said, flatly.

"Tobirama ? A _plant witch_ ?" Hashirama said, looking faintly incredulous. He waved a hand quickly, as if to bat away that notion before it could do something nefarious. Like become real. "No, no. Of course not ! He's a water elemental !"

An insanely good one, too, according to Izuna's grumbling. Madara supposed the different magical domains was another thing that had made him dismiss the common surname. Which was, in retrospect, stupid since he _knew_ that the Senjus were known for their large variety of magical affinities.

"He also takes sealing classes," Hashirama went on, unaware of his friend's musings, "And summoning lessons, too."

"Right, which explains why he and your girlfriend get along," Madara muttered.

"Right !" Hashirama beamed at him, sounding terribly pleased – either at the reminder that his brother and girlfriend were friends, at the reminder that Mito _had_ agreed to date him, or simply at the fact that Madara had recalled that bit of information. He sighed happily, "Isn't she wonderful ?"

Well, that answered _that_ question. Unfortunately, Madara was far too familiar with that dreamy tone of voice, and knew that if he didn't do something drastic, he would be forced to listen to yet another smitten ode to Uzumaki Mito's beauty, strength and sheer power.

"Uh-huh," he said quickly, trying to attract his best friend's attention. "So when are we meeting… Tobirama ?"

"Tobi ?" Hashirama said, as if startled out of a daydream – which was probably the case. "Oh, right !" He looked up at the position of the sun, and paused. "Ah, oops. We're supposed to be there already."

Madara looked at the sky, in a silent plea for patience, and tried to resist the urge to set his best friend on fire.

* * *

Tobirama, predictably, was waiting for them at the agreed meeting point, foot tapping an impatient rhythm. When he saw them coming, his expression went from annoyed to blank in less than a second. Red eyes narrowed into a blistering glare.

"You're late," he said shortly as a greeting. His glare, rather tellingly, was firmly fixed on Madara, who bristled.

"Don't look at _me_ ," he hissed, "Your _brother_ -" and he still hadn't gotten used to the idea- "Didn't tell me the time we were supposed to meet."

Tobirama shifted his glare to Hashirama, who shot him a sheepish smile.

"Brother, _you_ were the one to request my help for your project," he said rather tartly, "You would think that you'd be respectful enough to both me and your… project partner by arriving on time."

He glared at Hashirama until the man wilted, and hung his head in an almost visible cloud of depression. Tobirama looked deeply unimpressed. Clearly, he was very much used to his brother's moods and theatrics. Then, after a long-suffering sigh, the albino looked back at Madara.

"Let me guess," he said dryly, "He started looking at the flowers on the way."

"No, actually," Madara said, lips twitching despite himself – because Hashirama _did_ stop to look at flowers on the side of the road _way_ too often, and had gotten them late many times because of the habit. "He started daydreaming about his girlfriend."

"Ah," Tobirama said, and there was a wealth of meaning behind that singular sound.

The both of them shared a commiserating look, and Madara caught himself thinking that maybe the guy wasn't so bad. He certainly seemed less annoying than his brother, which was always good. Maybe he'd gotten ahead of himself, believing those rumours, and judging the book by it's cover.

"Hey !" Hashirama exclaimed, pouting. "Don't act as though I'm not here ! You're both so mean to me !"

Tobirama rolled his eyes, a motion that Madara had a feeling the man went through often with Hashirama around, and ignored his older brother – not that you'd be able to tell that the albino _wasn't_ the oldest given how the two acted. Not even sparing a glance to his once again moping brother, Tobirama turned back to Madara.

"I'm surprised you actually accepted to work with me on this, Uchiha." He commented.

"Hashirama never mentioned a name, when he talked about you," Madara replied dryly. "Given that there are _many_ Senjus on campus, I didn't really connect you with _him_."

Tobirama snorted, seemingly admitting the point, not even looking surprised that his brother had failed to describe him clearly enough that Madara would recognize him. Hashirama seemed to sink into himself even more, crouching next to the ground and muttering to himself. Madara eyed his best friend a bit suspiciously – the last time he'd been in a mood…

"Don't you dare start making leaves sprout out of the road," he growled, reminded of the last incident. "I am _not_ dealing with the campus maintenance team _again_."

"That was _one_ time !" Hashirama cried.

"Oh, so I must have imagined the new tree that I found this morning in the dorm's bathroom ?" Madara asked, pining the other man with a _look_.

"Brother, you clogged the plumbing system _again_ ?" Tobirama said. "You told me you didn't have any more accidents !"

"Well…" Hashirama looked sheepish again.

"Are you telling me it was a regular occurrence even before ?" Madara said, looking at the younger man.

"Yes," Tobirama sounded as dry as Suna's desert. "Most of my mastery over water came from the need to take a shower despite having roots all over the pipes."

"What do you know," Madara replied, just as dry, " _My_ mastery over fire has greatly improved thanks to all the practice I've gotten at burning down invasive flora that _somehow_ keeps growing everywhere in the dorms."

"I imagine it takes quite a bit of control to burn down only the plants and not the whole dorms with it, yes," Tobirama agreed.

They shared yet another look of shared understanding. Most people underestimated plant witches because they were hugely pacifist, and their brand of magic didn't offer much in the way of _obvious_ offensive power. And, in large part, it was true. The average plant witch was always more happy tending to their garden than getting into fights. Even Madara, who spent quite a lot of time with plant witches thanks to Hashirama and Zetsu, tended to forget that they were _not_ just goofy hippies who took 'flower power' a bit too far.

Then Hashirama did something ridiculous, such as growing a Death Forest, and Madara was forcibly reminded that plant witches were actually terrifying and that the pacifist ideology was the only reason that they weren't ruling the world.

(That thing was _still there_ , by the way, because _no one_ , not even their best fire mages, had managed to get rid of the thing. The plant witches, of course, were _offended_ and _horrified_ when asked to help. They had the gall of calling it 'wonderful' and 'creative' and 'aw, look, it's got carnivorous moss, isn't it adorable' and refused to do anything except help it grow even more. The Academy had to build a wall with their most powerful wards over the whole area to keep the Forest contained.)

Of course, _some_ might argue that Hashirama was a very powerful plant witch – possibly the most powerful of their time – which would explain how he could make such things. It was true, too. But plant magic apparently didn't tax plant witches much, which meant that even the weakest plant witch was actually able to create an elephant sized carnivorous plant if the mood struck them. Or strangle people with roots and vines, if feeling uncreative but murderous.

And then there was Zetsu, who was a case of his own and was most likely a psychopath. Madara had seen him use fungi as a weapon. It had been… an experience. On an unrelated note, he couldn't look at mushrooms the same way ever again – let alone eat them, gods forbid. And if he had started to cleanse himself every day obsessively to make sure there was no spore clinging to him, well, it was for him to know and for everyone else to never find out.

Thankfully, both Hashirama and Zetsu were… odd cases, amongst plant witches.

Then _again_ , those oddities might be explained by the Senju genes. Zetsu _was_ a distant cousin of Hashirama, after all. In Madara's experience, all Senjus were a little (a _lot_ ) crazy, and sometimes (generally) terrifying. One only had to look at that beast of a creationist, Touka. A bloodline who had sired a woman that intense and bloodthirsty couldn't be normal.

(Madara wilfully ignored the fact that Izuna had the biggest crush of the universe on Touka. His brother clearly had taken a hit on the head at some point – which, if he'd been in Touka's vicinity wasn't very surprising. It was just a phase. That's it. A _phase_ !)

And people said the Uchiha were the crazy ones. Psch. They clearly had never met a proper Senju, or even an Uzumaki…

In fact, wasn't there a rumour about a common ancestor, between those two clans ? It would explain _so much_.

Following that train of thoughts, Madara found himself eyeing Tobirama with renewed suspicion. _Sure_ the rumours painted him as an asocial genius with an arrogant streak that was unfortunately coupled with a very good academical record, and Izuna hated his guts, but everything Madara had heard on the guy wasn't… well, as extra, or worrying as some things he'd witnessed about other Senjus.

Which meant that either Tobirama was the only sane one in his family, or he was better at hiding the crazy.

Given that he got along with Mito, and had lived for all of his childhood with Hashirama – which would drive _anyone_ insane – Madara was heavily leaning in favour of the second option.

"So," he said, mostly to distract himself away from those worrying thoughts – and the mounting paranoia, which was a direct result of having so many crazies in his social circle (he blamed Zetsu), "Project." He looked at Tobirama, forcing himself to at least look neutral. "Hashirama made it sound as though you might have some insights about the topic ?"

"Yes, although it might be best if we went somewhere a bit more private and comfortable," Tobirama suggested. "At least find a place to sit. My flat should be empty at this time, and it's close by, unless you would prefer somewhere else ?"

It was a reasonable suggestion, and even _considerate,_ which probably shouldn't have surprised Madara as much as it did. Izuna's grumbling and rants about Senju Tobirama had clearly made him biased – he would admit to being a little bit overprotective of his brother.

"I don't really care," Madara told him, and turned to his best friend. "Hashirama ?"

"Oh, it's been so long since you invited me to your home, Tobi !" Hashirama chirped happily, making Tobirama twitch in what Madara was going to take as long-suffering annoyance. Tobirama was probably already regretting extending that invitation.

"Don't call me that," the younger of the two huffed.

Hashirama, as per usual, ignored him and started walking cheerfully, chattering mindlessly. Madara kept half an ear on what he was saying, making a few appropriate noises when needed. Half of his attention, though, was still on Tobirama.

From up close, it was easier to see a family resemblance in the shape of his face, mostly the nose and the mouth. However, Tobirama still looked very little like his brother – he was more lithe, and even if he didn't look _delicate_ it certainly gave more credence to Hashirama's comment about his brother taking from the other side of the family. Having met Senju Butsuma, Madara knew that his best friend mainly took after his father. Tobirama had to have taken after his mother.

Hashirama suddenly started gushing, and Madara scoffed when he realized his friend had, once more, gone on tangent about his girlfriend. He promptly tuned him out, just in time to catch Tobirama's amused stare.

"What ?" He asked, and it came out a bit sharper than intended.

"You don't like Mito much, do you ?" Tobirama commented, not looking fazed at all, and fortunately quiet enough that Hashirama didn't catch it.

Madara made a rude noise. That was an understatement if there ever was one.

"She-" he started to say, only to cut himself abruptly. Right, Tobirama and Mito were friends, weren't they ? He probably shouldn't tell him his opinion on the witch. Instead, he settled for a reluctant, "She and I don't get along, no."

"No, I imagine not," Tobirama said, and damn it, the bastard was _definitely_ amused. Madara tried, very hard, not to bristle and loose his temper in the face of that knowing cat-like smirk.

"Speaking of," Madara said, deciding to deflect the topic before he lost it, "you said you didn't expect me to agree to this. To be fair, I'm surprised _you_ agreed to work with me."

Tobirama hummed, still looking amused but letting it go almost indulgently. Bastard… Madara was slowly rethinking every kind thought he'd had about the younger Senju brother.

"This is about Izuna, isn't it ?" Tobirama said, and stated more than asked, "He's your brother ?"

"Yes," Madara replied. "I was under the impression that you couldn't stand him."

"Well, no offense, but he's kind of an over-competitive brat," Tobirama said, which was fully offensive, "And a sore loser at that." Scratch that, Tobirama was a _jerk_. The albino went on before Madara could explode like a volcano. "Although, to be fair, the fact that the teachers in practical always pit us against each other because of our opposite magical domains doesn't help."

"Right," Madara said, trying and probably failing to sound as though he _wasn't_ seething.

Tobirama didn't reply, giving him the opportunity to cool down. Taking a deep breath, Madara counted to ten. There was no use in getting angry. Maybe Tobirama _was_ a smug asshole, but he was important for that project.

Also… Well. Maybe he did have a point. Madara knew too well that his brother, like himself, was too competitive for it to end well. Except Izuna also had a cunning and mean streak a mile wide, too, and he couldn't imagine that he would take to loosing to _anyone_ well, and especially not a water elemental who had a bit of a cat-superiority feel about him.

Unfortunately, that old wives tale about opposite magical domains influencing relations had a measure of truth in it. Izuna being a fire elemental would see him at a disadvantage against Tobirama, but being a _lightning_ elemental meant he had the advantage as well. Izuna was also more of an instinctive mage, rather than a logical one – which was undoubtedly what Tobirama was.

…Yeah, Madara could see how those fights in practical lessons would devolve, if pitting those two against each other. It was like they had been _designed_ to be complete opposite.

By the time they made it to Tobirama's flat, Madara had cooled down enough to make an attempt at being cordial again.

Unfortunately, it also meant his paranoia had come back with a vengeance.

Which had all to do with the iron smell of blood coming from Tobirama's door. Madara paused, eyeing the panel with distrust, and was rather vindicated when even Hashirama seemed to hesitate. Tobirama, worryingly, didn't seem to find anything wrong.

"Um, Tobi," Hashirama said hesitantly. "That smell… Did you clean up this morning ?"

Tobirama paused, his keys jangling in his hand, to shoot his brother a puzzled look. He took an experimental sniff, and huffed.

"That's normal," he said. "I cleaned, I just forgot to burn some incense."

Which was _not_ reassuring at all, Madara though. Yet Hashirama, the trusting fool, relaxed and beamed at his brother.

"Oh, that's fine, then !" He said.

Madara clamped his mouth shut to avoid screeching that _no_ it was certainly _not_ fine. Instead, he followed Hashirama inside the actually very suspiciously clean flat. Tobirama left his stuff on a chair, and went to search for candles and incense in his cupboards.

Meanwhile, Madara leaned over to his best friend, hesitantly.

"Remind me why you thought your brother could help on our topic ?" He asked.

The topic of their project was Olde Magick and Forgotten True Practices, something that had appealed to the both of them, as heirs to two of the oldest magical clans in the country. Hashirama was a treasure trove of information on plant magic, which was the most harmless and common Old magic of the lot. Madara had never known about many of the rituals that his friend had mentioned, things that came from _really_ ancient times, when the gods still walked the earth.

Of course, he himself had a lot of insight into old spells – the Uchiha were an old family, one with an immense library of ancient knowledge – but he mostly knew about Fire elementals of old, and the history of illusion and mind magic, two fields that were ancient but not really considered Olde Magick by council decree. Which was stupid, since Uchiha magic depended mostly on Amaterasu, the fire goddess, and emotional sacrifice, which made it Olde Magick by tradition.

Bah. The council was a lot of bullshit, anyway.

Still. The point was that for their project, he and Hashirama were trying to find out a lot about branches of magic that were sometimes dangerous, sometimes frowned upon, sometimes barely legal. Hell, some of the Old branches of magic were things that still weren't practised in public despite the lift on most bans.

Blood magic, for one, was not the kind of magic _anyone_ sane would admit to practising. It wasn't _illegal,_ per say, but, well. There was a reason the blood mages had been hunted to almost extinction during the Hunts.

With the smell, Madara was having a really bad feeling.

"Well, he's got a lot of info about all sort of things, Tobirama is a bit of a nerd like that," Hashirama said, completely relaxed – but then again, Madara wouldn't be surprised if his friend stayed laid-back even in the face of the end of the world. The fool grinned. "He's got a lot of old tomes about water magic, of course, many things about sea gods and drowned gods that were mostly forgotten except in the seaside temples."

"Right," Madara said, nodding. Yes, that made sense. Still, he couldn't unwind at all. He debated staying silent, but he found he couldn't. Not when the uncertainty was making his paranoia shoot through the roof. So he whispered, slowly, "But he's not. He's not a blood mage, is he ?"

"Tobi, a _blood mage_ ?" Hashirama said, turning to him with wide eyes. "No ! Of course not !" He pouted. "Really, Madara, I know you don't like him much-"

"That's not it, it's just the smell," Madara said.

"Oh, well, I guess," Hashirama nodded, and smiled. "But really, you know how many spells use blood ? It's not that odd."

"Brother is right," Tobirama's voice right next to them made Madara jump. The bastard looked smugly amused when he turned to glare at him. "A lot of old sealing theory was done with blood. People used to believe that it gave more potency to seals. Mito would know more than me about the topic, though – her family has a blood-based binding spell that they all master before starting their studies, I believe."

"Yes, those chains of hers !" Hashirama nodded, beaming. "Good idea, Tobi, I'll ask her about it."

Madara grimaced, but didn't refuse – they needed all the sources they could get for that project, after all, even if it meant he would have to spend more time than necessary in Mito's company. Tobirama looked deeply amused when he turned back to him.

The albino then looked pointedly at his hands. Madara followed his gaze, to find unlit candles.

"Would you mind ?" Tobirama asked – and Madara was _pretty sure_ there was something mocking in those words, but he couldn't find _what._

The smell was really getting to him, so he complied with only a mild huff. A spark of his magic, and all the candles were lit, fire bright and warm. Madara couldn't help a small smile. Lighting a candle was more complicated than it looked, and he could remember his first attempts at the exercise.

He had come a long way since then, hadn't he.

Tobirama hummed, looking at the candles with an unreadable expression, before setting them down on a counter and a few on another table. Hashirama finally moved from his spot, allowing Madara to get a bit further. They both dropped their bags near a couch.

"To answer your question, Uchiha," Tobirama said, even as he lit some incense with the candle flames, "I'm not a blood mage. You do not have to worry about that."

Madara nodded a bit cautiously, but he could feel the last of his tension disappear. He gingerly sat down on the couch next to Hashirama, and cast a curious look around.

Just as he was puzzling over the rather gloomy choice of a deer's skull as decoration on a desk, Tobirama spoke up again.

"No, what I am," he said, even as he sat down, "is a Necromancer."

Madara's heart missed a beat. Hashirama, the traitor, didn't even look surprised, because of course he knew, and of course he hadn't told Madara.

And his little brother was sitting, calm as you please, clearly hiding a very amused smirk behind a hand.

Forget any _nice_ thing he'd even said or thought about Tobirama.

What a fucking _asshole_.

* * *

(Later that day, he would amend that statement. Because Tobirama might be a bastard who took way too much glee in surprising him, a jerk who got on his nerves too easily, and a _technically-not-illegal-but-flirting-with-the-notion_ Death mage, but damn it.

He was also _illegally_ pretty.

Especially when he laughed.

...He was still an asshole. Just a good looking one.)

* * *

 **The end.**

* * *

 **So, as you MAY have guessed, I got completely side-tracked by worldbuilding, and lost in plot and ship. I legitimately had to stop writing and delete entire paragraphs, because I was expounding on magic system, magical laws, magical history and other things that would be fine in a much longer fic but not in an innocent OS like this was supposed to be.**

 **To be fair, I didn't have much of an idea beyond the 'your brother is a WHAT' 'A necromancer' 'You are a PLANT WITCH. HOW' thing. (Yes. That was supposed to be the whole thing.)**

 **Hopefully you guys still liked this silly OS ! :D**

 **Please leave a review ! (Please do not ask me for an update or continuation. I dislike people demanding me to write things.)**


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